Theater of scandal: July 26- August 2

$15 Diary of a Chambermaid
OPENS TONIGHT . Director Adrian Giurgea wants to play master and servant, with the help of a little play that caused such scandal when it was first published. The time: 1900ds, during the Dreyfus affair. The place: someone's intimate quarters. Sex and violence for $15.
At Walkerspace, 46 Walker, between broadway and Church streets. Performances are Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8pm, but call ahead (212 868 4444) or check here.
$20 Forbidden Fruit
Somehow "coming of age" does not quite do this play justice. The LMNO Theater Company is prepared to present two acts, each with a highly informative stories about discovering sex. Includes full frontal (specified: male), video projections of whatever cannot be done on stage and "mature subject matter." DS is happy to endure a parade of beautiful naked bodies in the interest of theater. Opens July 21, ends August 7. Bring friends or make new ones, but buy tickets in advance to save $5.
Showings: Wings theater, 154 Christopher street. Monday, Wednesday- Friday 8pm, Sunday matinee and 7:30 show. More info here.
Go to the theater. Or else.
[Pic via Retroraunch, for your vintage pornography needs.]

... Next up, theater for children and eternal seven year olds.

Theater Friday 07/23: Go to Hell!

The Hell Theater Festival accepts no reservations, is not credit card friendly and will not accomodate whiners.
Everyone else will be surprised to know that the gateway to hell is in Brooklyn (and not, as was popularly believed, under Canal street).
All shows are at the Brick Theater multi disciplinary art "space" in Williamsburg. Beware those hipsters.
Price
For $10 per show, all your souls are belong to us.
Getting There
The Brick Theater, 575 Metropolitan Avenue Between Lorimer and Union (G train to Metropolitan Ave; L train to Lorimer; various evil deeds).
Shows!
Schedule is HERE. Tonight's show is impossible to determine due to the infernal set up of their webpage, but call 718.907.6189.
Other events include dance pieces on the theme of purgatory, a rare staging of the second act of No Exit and readings of Hell-Related Texts, including Don Juan In Hell which should not be missed, so long as it is the Edmond Rostand version.

If you cannot make the shows, you might be tempted by the closing night party, The Carnival of Souls.
Lasciate Ogni Speranza...
There you go... Go to the theater

Noh, Noh, NOH!

All eight of Lincoln Center's Kabuki nights have sold out. There seems to be a sizable population of people in this city who are not only willing to drop $75-100 for theater, but can make the wednesday matinee. (DS would be most grateful if one of these people would like to make a Kabuki ticket donation).
For anyone thinking of hunting for tickets second hand, Lincoln Center is currently presenting Natsumatsuri Naniwa Kagami (part of which means "Summer Festival: A Mirror of Osaka"- and not necessarily in that order). The stage, built for the purpose, will contain the famous Kabuki Hanamichi, the catwalk particular to Kabuki that might bring an actor charging into the audience. DS thinks everyone should have one of those, preferably running into the managers' office. AND DS will gladly borrow one of those cardboard swords too.

The Lincoln Kabuki will include near-simultaneous english translation, carnival-style effects and a plot that involves a murder and suggestive jokes. Sex and violence. Who could ask for anything more?
And just for the pleasure of finding out, there IS a huge difference between Kabuki and Noh theater. Slightly mis-translated article here. A good explanation of Kabuki can be found here. Read about the creation of Kabuki by a woman, dancer and- legend has it- priestess, and about why only men act in Kabuki plays. How Shakespearian.
Good luck with the scalpers. If you can afford to satisfy your Kabuki craving, that is.
If, like DS you cannot, vicarious Kabuki, including sounds here.
(more temptation here and here).

Cheap Theater July 19-26: Dissent

Campaigns are raging, conventions are poised to invade and the international situation is desperate as usual.  There is one thing left to do: Go to the theater.

$5 ONLY An Enemy of the People
One Performance Only: July 20 (That's Tuesday!!!)
DS loves the city where Shakespeare is free and Ibsen is five dollars. 
This particular performance is brought to you by the Dramatist Guild and is part of the Theater in the Park[ing lot] series.  Enemy is the story of the man who tries to save lives by telling the truth, thereby preventing everyone else from making money. This is a cautionary tale about what might happen to such killjoys(when their CIA wife are not endangered by exposure in the mainstream press, that is).  The parking lot is at 1501 Broadway, between 43 and 44th.  The performance is at 2:00 pm (which means you will just have to call in sick).  The play is $5.  Be there. Info here. Full text here.  

$10 12 Angry People
What is a convicting jury? Innocence? Guilt? If you have not seen the 1957 movie with Henry Fonda- or if you have, get to Brooklyn this week. Friday and Saturday, 8pm. Ends July 31. Tickets and info here.

$10-15 The Franklin Thesis
So you're a devil, right? But you also happen to be an alien.  And you've filed your income taxes, stoked the fires under your guests' backsides and had a brief conference call with your lawyer.  It's time to spend a few relaxing hours tempting and tormenting humans, which you decide to do by-
Sending your best buddy the antichrist to be Ben Franklin? What may sound like one of those brilliant 2 am ideas that disappear into next day's hangover is the  subject of the Ice Factory's selection of the week: How alien-satan people sent Ben Franklin into our midst. This is meant to be accomplished with modern dance, multimedia presentations and "a giant mound of cocaine."  . DS finds it interesting that so much, multimedia effects, modern dance, a mountain of cocaine and a plot that would raise the eyebrows in second grade, is necessary to suggest, just to suggest, that our founding fathers were sometimes less angel than insect. From the clever Ice Factory Festival at the Ohio Theater (66 Wooster, btwn Spring and Broome. Tickets are here or at the door. Schedule varies so check.     
So there you have it. Quit staring at those campaign ads and-
GO TO THE THEATER!

Bastille Day Weekend with Serge

The Weekly Theater Roundup has been delayed and will probably be up tomorrow.
Instead, DS recommends celebrating Bastille day with the most revolutionary (oy) and influential of French artists: Serge Gainsbourg. 
In France, what Gainsbourg did to French music is similar to what Sartre did to philosophy and what Genet did to theater.  He pushed the enveloppe, pissed off the right people and made a diet of cigarettes and coffee look like the height of genius.  His songs have colored the tapestry of French music and are all absolutely brilliant.
Some of them are actually good enough to listen to.
For those of you who have never heard of Serge Gainsbourg and for those of you who miss the bastard, come celebrate Bastille day with an hommage to Serge, Friday and Saturday at the Loser's Lounge near Acme bar on Lafayette Street.  Tickets are $25.  They'd better exhume him for that price. 
via Gothamist

O Chang Gun's Toenail

O Chang-Gun's Toenail is one of those plays DS would most like to praise: an emerging theater company with new ideas and enough budgetary constrictions to make them quite creative is willing to hoist Korean theater onto the unforgiving carousel of NYC theater. DS, like most of this city, has never seen a Korean play- and was looking forward to something new.
Something with a plot, maybe?
Toenail has all the elements of potentially brilliant- and potentially terrible- theater. Not since the first grade pantomime has DS seen men in spandex being trees, boys and girls in pointy ears being cats and dogs, and a very sultry looking cow- in furry pyjama pants.
The fact that these choices almost worked was a testament to the skill of the actors. Combine this with other choices such as(what appeared to be) traditional Korean songs and you'll find that there is much potential for this war play. Toenail follows the short adventure of a farmer who mistakenly receives a draft notice meant for a kid who is richer and therefore, it is assumed, better suited for war. The farmer's name is O-Chang-Gun, which can be read to mean "Five-Star General" ( quoth the theater troup), which O-Chang- Gun was never meant to be. Because Toenail is a tragedy, the rest of the story gives itself away rather quickly, leaving the audience with nothing much to look at beyond the spandex-clad-tree-men and the very polished acting. Hak Choi's costume and set creations are also worth the trip- when they are not trying too hard to make heavy-handed statements about the sorrows of war.
Gothamist hints that this play should be respected for its place in the history of dissent- it was banned for 15 years in Korea and continues to have a very powerful anti-war message. DS agrees, but cannot help wishing for a less predictable plot- just to avoid feeling as if the cast is preaching at us. (War is bad! Bad! Bad! Not Good!)
Tickets are here or at Cherry Lane Theater, at the door. Performances begin at 7:30 pm except sunday (but call ahead).

Where to get your Pre-Theater Wine
50 Commerce Street. For a room so perfectly art-deco-inspired you will feel as if you've walked onto the set of The Hudsucker Proxy , friendly service and decent wine, there is simply no where else to go. A big clock behind the bar will tell you when to grab your affairs and run to the theater. While you are there, do not miss the aging french man sitting alone with a bottle of Jim Beam. If you really want a war story, prod him a little and he will be happy to provide.
AND FINALLY....
The Faun Rating: 2.0/10 for: Other than the sexy cow, I was waiting for dinner.

The Faun Scale (0 = like getting root canal,
9.9= almost as good as it gets without gratuitous nakedness.
10 = contains gratuitous nakedness)

The Faun Test: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ............................

The Cat Ate My Post

No posts today. DS is exceptionally tired. I will leave you instead with the felinious villainous. DS wishes someone would cast these cats. Perhaps in Hamlet's "Mousetrap" scene?
via www.mycathatesyou.com.

Cheap Theater July 7-14: "FANTASTIC THEATRICALITY"

There is still a whole week between now and July 14. Where will you be?

$15 O-Chang Gun's Toenail
The Cherry Lane Theater on Commerce Street has a tendency to feature plays with potential, so DS will not be deterred by the title of this Korean play about war- DS is always up for some "fantastic theatricality" (whatever that is) and it is time for DS to stop thinking of Ibsen as our most exotic playwright. The toenail is on view at the Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce Street in the East Village. Tickets are $15, $12 for students (212-868-4444). The show opened yesterday and ends July 25.

FREE Measure for Measure
DS cannot get enough free Shakespeare. This particular production is presented FREE by the Blunt Theater Co. in La Plaza Cultural, an outdoor garden space on 9th street between B and C. Opens tonight, keeps it up until 7/25. The play is scheduled to run at 8pm between now and Sunday, all other days, get details here (also includes a synopsis of the Blunt Theater Co's version of the play. Synopsis of the original, full text. This is something of a morality play, so don't miss the "Good People... that do nothing but use their abuses in common houses..."

$15, $10 for Students and Seniors (just stoop a little) Expense of Spirit
The Soho Think Tank would like you to know that the Ice Factory festival of intelligent, varied and brilliantly diverse theater is on. This, at least, is the press release. In the first installation of the festival, the International WOW Company brings you Expense of Spirit , a play about NY, West Point, Brooklyn and... the war in Iraq.
If you are wondering about the play, the title is taken from Old Will's Sonnet #129.

Sonnet #129
The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight;
Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,
Past reason hated, as a swallowed bait,
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit, and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.

All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

-W. Shakespeare

See Expense of Spirit at the Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster Street, 7pm. ENDS JULY 10! Tickets at the door (reservations 212-886-4551) or on Smarttix. More information on the play is available here.

Allright, that's enough already. Next week, DS storms the Bastille. This week, GO TO THE THEATER.

Like Sunblock for Theater (began Monday 07/05/04)

The idea of a theater festival sponsored by the Smart car and named after a sunblock strength is making us hesitate, but at $10 a seat, DS might just head on over to check out the Summer Play Festival, or spf.
Here is the gimmick: you buy your ticket, you arrive at the venue (one venue, 18 plays), you "chill at the uber-cool lounge" (also spracht SPF), and you get in on some "Mad Summer Fun" in their "air conditioned theater."
DS is grateful to SPF for making these "emerging talents" accessible to us. DS would prefer it if the spf did not try to lure us there by commenting on how "cool" and "hot" and "chill" and "fun" and "uber-cool" the whole experience will be. Like, DUDE, lets not attract all the wrong crowd.
Still, for those of you willing to experiment, schedule is here. Like, keep me posted and stuff.
You know?
Next up... openings that rival the spf.

Times Loves Mystery, Imperils Theater

The NYtimes has sent reviewer D. J. R. BRUCKNER to DS' Pick of the week, The Mystery Plays , and the "critic" lapped it up in this review.
DS does not mind being second-guessed by the Times' eminent theatergoers, so long as they are not asleep in the audience.
Yes, the mystery plays were beautiful, at times frightening and touching plays, but surely there was SOMEthing that could have been improved. Not so, according to Bruckner. In Horrors Seen and Imagined Imperil the Body and Soul , \the Times has crowned our playwrights with the words "master[y]," "irresistible" AND "stylish." Maybe, just maybe NYT should save these words for artists who simply have no further to go. Read: the dead ones.
The alternative, of course, is to stack on compliments, avoid objectivity, get on your knees and- well- spare the rod, spoil the artist. DS does not need 100% agreement, but nothing is worse than 100% flattery-
And there is something else disturbing about Bruckner's piece. Aside from the amazing lack of flaws in the play, there is also a strange dearth of-- well-- content(?). No actors, no scenography, no ambitious directing, no sound/ lights? Perhaps the critic was blinded by the playwright's vision. He did not notice the set? Well, maybe the actors were walking on water. More likely though, Bruckner is giving us the press release.
Take a compliment, subtract even the lightest nuance of criticism, airbrush the final product and...
[EXEUNT EFFORT AND HONESTY]
Yes, DS loved the mystery plays, but DS cannot remember the last time we went to a "perfect" play, one that had not a single flaw. So, is there a real critic at the Times, or does DS have to go it alone?
Picture via Powertech

Holiday Weekend....

DS is going on vacation- no p[osts until at least monday.
Happy fireworks.... AND GO TO THE THEATER!

The Mystery Explained- or at least critiqued.

Second to Shakespeare in the Park, Mystery Plays was DS' cheapest theater selection of the week- at least for students. Difficult it is to complain about $10 theater but pursuant to DS' no shame policy..... voila:
The Mystery Plays are the work of young playwright Reoberto Aguirre Sacasa who could benefit from the services of an editor/ muse- someone to seek out in his oeuvre the poor overworked cliches deserving of lonely retirement:

"the grave stones look like teeth" (yawn)
"you have been chosen" (oy)
"we are all on the journey that is life" (vogon poetry).

Lines like these have no business appearing in effective ghost stories. Lines like these should be caught and shot before suffering actors are required to speak them without wincing.

Which is not to suggest that playwright Aguirre Sacasa does not have inspired moments. As the Voice noted, in essence, the kid has vision. It seeps through the plot (which by the way, could be tightened). His blend of campfire stories, medieval mythology and the everydayness of it all is sometimes chilling, sometimes beautiful. Aguirre-Sacasa likes to bring the world of his horror stories close to ours. He likes to create horror right next door, today, this century, to people similar to ourselves. He likes to have his characters speak to us directly. "You'll never guess what kind of ghost I met on the way to Newport..."

There is, however, something very tiresome about the Blair Witch/ capturing the Friedmans/ infomercial/ documentary style he uses. (Character: I am on a train. I am going to Newport. There is a handsome man next to me. I am going to see my family. I wonder if I can get laid). There is a time for soliloquy, but not in ALL scenes. Sometimes the audience wants to talk to the characters and sometimes they should shut up, already. The fourth wall will not shatter if the characters have never gotten behind it in the first place? [VLADIMIR: I am a character. I am waiting for Godot. This is all I do. Estragon is my friend. That's all. Waiting]. Of play and playwright, this is just a case of stunted development.

Within the constraints of this petri dish theater, the actors delivered laudable performances, especially Mark Margolis, majestic and magical in his role as Mister Mystery (an unfortunately named character, not an ice cream cone) - too bad about the Freddy Kruger outfit.

Special, special kudos for Daniel Baker, S. Ryan Schmidt, Sandra Goldmark, creators of beautiful, innovative scene, sound and light effects that sometimes perfectly captured the Mystery Plays' ghostly moods, and sometimes carried the play through its trying moments. If you find yourselves on the upper west side, consider seeing the play, if only for the masterful scenography. Peak in also for Aguirre-Sacasa's inspiration. He might be someone to watch when he lets his characters tell their own stories and dusts the cliches off his often gleaming language-
and finally, come for the McGinn/Cazzale theater, officially DS' current winner of the DS Best Venue Award for comfort, set up and space management. Just try to see as well in the back row at Mamma Mia.

Where to get your Pre-Theater Wine
"Bar" bar (Broadway, between 79th and 78th streets, East side).
You'll find that there are better bars, there are seedier bars, and there are dirtier bars than this one, all of which is not a reason to go.
The terrace of the Greek Restaurant across the street from the theater
On 78th Street. Good wine, Good reviews, smoking spaces and sexy service. (DS has heard their whole grilled fish is an after-theater feast).

AND FINALLY....
The Faun Rating: 4.0/10 for: Required much more wine

(0 = like getting root canal,
9.9= almost as good as it gets without gratuitous nakedness.
10 = contains gratuitous nakedness)

The Faun Scale: Still as a board... breathing deeply... purring... Slightly more alert during first half, when faun smiles were observed.

OFF OFF... and slightly off theater.

DS wants to see a play staged on the eye-assaulting flowered carpeting that IS the new art installation at Grand Central station. DS thinks No Exit would be a particularly good choice- Sartre's stage instructions do recommend something on the ugly side of bourgeois. If you find yourself riding the subway through 42nd street, DS recommends a short trip to see Rudolf Stingel's piece, on which you can (and will probably want to) walk. Watch people run over an artist's inspiration.
If a scene from the kitsch issue of Best Cheap Hotel Lobbies and Nongardens is not for you, at least consider the effort of setting carpet where no flammable materials or power tools are allowed. Shortlived link to great NY Times article here. Read, walk, and thank Goddess you live in New York, where home furnishings are available in tasteful BLACK.

Via Jeff Silverbush. Who actually claimed to like the monstrosity.

Mea Culpa

So I have mis-addressed one of my theater recommendations. Unforgivable. The Mystery Plays are on 79th street and Broadway, not in the upper 80's If you followed my advice and were late or were misled by my idiocy, I am prepared to offer a FREE gmail address (you'll have to provide proof). Just put it in a comment. Come on... You know you want one...